OUR PERFECT IMPERFECT WEDDING: PART 4 / JULY 15,2006

As Hubby Sweet and I took our place at the altar, we did a slight two-step, not really sure about who was supposed to stay on the right side and who was supposed to stay on the left. Fr. Gerry smiled at us after we finally figured our places out. "Game na. Wala nang urungan," he kidded, speaking away from the mike, talking only to us.

Fr. Gerry is my dad's cousin--or at least I grew up thinking that he is. He was not much older than us. I'm pretty sure we have less than 10 years between us. Growing up, he was Kuya Bandy to me and my cousins. They lived in the house in front of my paternal grandparents' home. Since Kuya Carlo and Kuya Eric (his brothers) were our playmates, we used to cross-over every so often between the two houses. We'd wreak havoc in my grandparents' yard first, climbing the guava and the macopa trees, and shaking the caimito until the fruits dropped (more like splatted, really) on the tin roof covering the pig pen that used to stand on one corner of my grandparents' lot. Once my lola starts waving the walis tingting, admonishing us to get down from the darn trees OR ELSE, we all knew it was time to get down as quickly as we could and run over to the house across the street where the lolos and lolas were...uh....for lack of a better description, more tolerant of our childhood capers. Hahaha. ;P



Kuya Bandy was the quiet one. I don't remember having had a real conversation with him, but he would always be smiling as we scampered all over their house, running up and down the stairs and all over their yard. It took me by surprise actually when my mom told me they were attending his ordination. I had known for quite some time that he was an accountant at SGV, but did not really hear of him entering the seminary. It was--apparently--his lifelong dream, but in a bargain with Lolo Pedro, he agreed to finish college and work "in the real world" first. "Just so you can be sure of what you really want," Lolo Pedro supposedly admonished him. Years later, Kuya Bandy knew that his heart was not in the corporate world, nor was it in the financial statements that he worked through every single day. His dream had remained unchanged. So, he entered the seminary and became a priest.


"In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit...," the mass has officially begun.


I had always wondered how it would feel to read through the misalette during the actual wedding. Having exceeded our budget for the wedding invitations (understatement of the year, hahaha), we decided to just print the misalette ourselves. Simple enough, we thought, considering that my brother, my sister and my cousin actually did it themselves for their own weddings. This basically meant, however, that instead of just choosing the readings and having the printer type the readings into a "generic" misalette file, I had to do the actual typing and the actual lay-outing. Page by page. Line by line. I had to print, check for typos, revise and re-layout whenever necessary--over and over and over. I had proofread the darn thing to death before actually proceeding with mass production (all puns fully intended. ;P) that, at a certain point, I can actually recite the entire mass with my eyes closed. You can then understand why I had the heated discussion with the manangs prior to the mass. Pinaghirapan ko yun, 'no! I was not about to back down and use a generic, church-approved misalette, all church manangs and church-coordinators-from-hell be damned! Hmp.

Things were going smoothly enough, until we got to the first reading. Mao, my high school bestfriend stood up, looked at me and shrugged as he walked to the lectern. He must have seen it in my eyes, "Why are you getting up for the first reading?! You're supposed to be doing the Prayer of the Faithful!" but I realized he wasn't quite sure either as to why he was all of a sudden assigned to do something I did not tell him about. After more than 20 years, Mao knows how anal I can be about having everything happen as I planned them.

Hubby Sweet, quite surprised himself, whispered, "Ba't di si AAze?" referring to his cousin whom we personally chose for the part. I shrugged and offered a lame excuse, unsure of the real reason, "Baka 'kala nila late si AAze. She had to walk Jazer up the aisle eh." (Side note: her 1-year old son was our arrhae bearer. =))


My mind was working double-time though. If AAze had not been available, why wasn't Tiririt (my cousin) assigned to do the reading instead? We had picked our readers and our offerors based on affinity and the significance of the role we wanted them to play at our wedding. I had discussed this thoroughly with our church coordinator three days before the wedding. "We have assigned people," I told her as I handed her a copy of the misalette. "Please look for them. If for some strange reason, they are not there, please look for our 'back-ups'", I requested as I wrote down the names of our preferred alternates next to our first choices. It was much later that I found out (after one of my friends kidded me about being instant offerors for my wedding, and after all the kwentuhans with my cousins) that my darn church coordinators totally disregarded my directions! Instead of looking for the assigned people, they started asking anyone and everyone milling about by the church door if they wanted to do the reading, be an offeror, etc., etc., etc.! Ack! After all has been said and done, however, I realize that I didn't really mind that Mao got to do the first reading AND the Prayer of the Faithful, that Halbert & Joy (my college friend and his wife) ended up doing the floral offertories instead of Dooders and Jel (my cousin & my niece) or that Ko ended up bringing the wine offering to the altar. They were, after all, still quite special to me--except that, aside from really having reasons for deciding on our original choices, we actually informed our "first choices" about their roles days before the wedding. Their names were even printed on the misalettes! Much later, a lot of them told me it was quite surreal to see somebody else doing what has supposedly been assigned to them. Worse, my cousin made me kwento after the wedding that my church coordinators asked--no, begged!--my other nephew to stand in as arrhae bearer because Jazer's pants was not yet there. (It was supposed to have been in Kiko's parents' car, but since they arrived late....) My cousin initially begged off, telling the coordinators that they should probably wait because the arrhae bearer was there and he DID have a pair of "back-up" pants in case--in all the rush--Kiko's parents forgot his clothes. Probably panicking at that point, the coordinators insisted that my other nephew, Lincoln, line up--only to eventually yank him out of the line when they realized Jazer will be walking down the aisle using his back-up pants. Poor Lincoln just looked at his mom and said, "Gusto ko na lumakad. Bakit nila ko pinaalis, Mama?" Augh, augh, augh! Jahe to the max! Lech. Church coordinators MUST die. >:\


Thankfully, I did not know about all that during the ceremony because it would just have ruined everything. I tried to push the queries out of my mind as Mao read from the lectern. "Who reads what, after all, is not as important as the content of the mass," I reasoned with myself--admittedly, not too successfully in the immediate aftermath of the first reading. "Focus, Eileen. Focus!" I told myself as Krishna (Kiko's cousin) stood up to do do the Responsorial Psalm. Everything seemed to proceed smoothly from there with G Genius (my brother-in-law, long story) doing the Second Reading flawlessly. "Bravo!" I thought inwardly as I smiled at GG who was beaming. Hahaha. 'P "Things are going to be all right from now on," I thought as I took a deep breath and resumed thinking happy thoughts.

I stayed seated after the second reading, expecting Ems (our lector & Kiko's HS barkada) to call our candle sponsors to the altar--as was written in the misalette--but was taken aback when the choir started singing the "Alleluia" chorus. As their angelic voices soared higher and higher with every line, I was thinking, "Darn, Mimi*! I told you not to sing the 'Alleluia' until after the candles have been lit!" (*Mimi was my contact person for the Ateneo Chamber Singers.) Kiko and I both looked at Ems who looked right back at us, looking perplexed and almost apologetic. "Something is up," I thought, not really believing that both Ems and Mimi would miss the fact that, in the misalette, the lighting of the candles should have been done before the Gospel. Setting aside all queries in my head as to whether we will get to do the candle ceremony at all, I decided to just learn to trust that people will remember to do the candle ceremony before we proceed with the veil and cord.


I had managed to calm myself down after repeatedly reminding myself that I did say that whatever happens I will just think happy thoughts. Then, I had one of those cartoon moments when a lightbulb just goes off in your head. Eureka! I finally figured it out. "Don't worry, hija. We'll just talk to your commentator na lang. Smile! After all, it is your wedding day," I remembered as a vision of the church manangs flashed in my mind. Darn it! It all of a sudden dawned on me that they changed the sequence of the mass and rearranged (!) the different portions of the mass to suit the church-approved sequence. Man! Revenge of the Church Manangs!!! Augh, augh, augh! And so it came to pass that Hubby Sweet and I spent our wedding mass flipping through the pages of the misalette, struggling to find the page being read by Ems and the other readers! It was easy enough for me. Having proofread the entire thing, I knew which came after what. Pity our poor guests who must have had quite a time trying to keep up, before finally deciding to just give up and set aside the misalette. And, man, super jahe when you really think about Fr. Gerry who took time to check, revise and approve our misalette, only to be superseded on the wedding day itself by over-zealous church manangs! Note to self: over-zealous church manangs MUST die too. Hmp. >:\


Thankfully enough, Fr. Gerry did not seem to mind that there have been drastic changes in the misalette sequence. At the very least, he did not seem surprised. I guess, the church manangs at least had the courtesy to let him know of the changes. Hay...even as I type this, I want to melt (matunaw ba sa kahihiyan...hay!). The mass proceeded; I have given up all hope that it will proceed as it was stated in the misalette.


"You are the light of the world, the city set on a hill....You are the salt of the earth....." We have finally reached the Gospel. When we cleared the misalette with him, Fr. Gerry was actually surprised that we chose that verse over other verses more commonly used for weddings. More than surprised, I remember him saying, he was actually pleased that we chose it, saying that it says a lot that we are committed to being role models for the Church. Uh.....yes. Hahaha. =) Everyone sat down for the homily.


"So, Francis, natikman mo na ba ang fruitcake ni Eileen?", Fr. Gerry asked, alluding, of course, to the theme of the wedding invitation. Na-tense ang ibang guests. Hahaha. =) For the record, Hubby Sweet and I quite innocently thought of no meaning to the question other than what he was referring to. (For those who did not get to see a copy of the invite, the first gift I ever gave Kiko was a fruitcake, in my vain attempt to feign nonchalance. Also read as, man, nagpapakipot pa ko nun kaya fruitcake lang ang binigay ko for Christmas! Hahaha. 'P) That said, Kiko and I quite innocently answered, "Hindi pa po. Hanggang ngayon po nandun pa. Di pa po nakakain kaya inaamag na." Needless to say, that lone exchange had all our guests (a combination of agency & marketing folks, sales people, family & friends, most of whom are green-minded) teetering on their seats, trying their darn best not to burst out laughing. Hahahahaha! Santa Barbara. 'P


Fast forward to the Marriage Rites. Everything went smoothly enough; everything was going as planned. Kiko and I did not fumble our vows (Yey!), saying our "I do's" and other vows with conviction and with the proper diction! Hahaha. =)






"Eileen, wear this ring as a sign of my love and loyalty. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," Hubby Sweet offered as he slipped the wedding band on my left ring finger. The thing with wedding ceremonies, I now realize, is that the person being wed (or maybe it's just me) is never really there with her full faculties intact. Normally rational and thorough, at that particular point in time, I could not even tell right from left .

"Left po ba o right?" I whispered, looking at the church manong who was assisting Fr. Gerry as I reached for Hubby Sweet's hand.


"Yan," he said, referring to the hand I was already holding, so I took it, not knowing whether it's the left or the right, only trusting that it is the "right" hand.

"Francis, wear this ring....," I started as I slipped the wedding band onto his ring finger. Abrupt stop. For a split second, I think, the world froze for Fr. Gerry, church manong, Hubby Sweet and me. The ring was too small. It was so small, it wouldn't go past the second bone on Kiko's ring finger no matter how much I tried to push it.


"Sweetie, maliit!" I muttered away from the mike, trying hard to keep from panicking.


"Kasya yan," Kiko insisted, egging me on.


"Ayaw eh..." I muttered, still trying to get the ring in. Church Manong, probably realizing the emergency at hand, turned the mike away.


"Ngek! Ba't lumiit? Dahil tumaba ako?" Kiko asked, now trying to help me get the darn ring through.


"Baka...I don't know. Sa small finger ko na lang kaya ilagay?" I suggested.

"Tweet naman. Wag!" he protested. "Teka, ako na..." he said as he made one final effort, surprisingly managing to lodge the ring through.


"Ayan, kasya!" he said holding up his hand as he wiggled his fingers, probably to get the blood flowing. Have you ever seen a person with a 28-inch waste try to fit into a 24-inch pair of jeans? Visualize it. That's how his ring finger looked. I would have burst out laughing if I weren't so concerned.

"Di kaya maputol yan? Parang di nagf-flow yung blood," I asked, realizing that half of his ring finger was turning purplish while the other half was becoming increasingly pale.


"Tweet, OK lang yan," he reassured me, "OK lang ako."

"Sigurado ka?" I asked, not quite convinced.

"Yes...." he muttered, probably eager to just get things going. "Game na."


"Hokey....," I muttered, "If you say so...."

"Game!" I declared loudly into the mike before proceeding.
"Francis, wear this ring as a sign of my love and loyalty. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," I said, taking a deep breath, the entire time going through the motions of pretending to slip the ring through--for photo & video purposes. Years from now, we can at least pretend that everything went smoothly during this portion of the wedding mass. Hahaha. =)




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TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN.....PART 5 NEXT! =)